guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Randomize
