i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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