I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
