you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
