peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
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