we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
