i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Are we still banned from the library?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
