jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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