Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
