remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
