i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
