so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
