I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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