I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
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I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
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I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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