i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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