you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
