WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Too much gin, very little bucket
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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