you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
