i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
