I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize