his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
