I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
