I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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