i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
