I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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