Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
