what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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