Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
