you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
