No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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