I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
