dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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