She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
