When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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