He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
So vagazzling was a success
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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