i need an iv and a liver transplant
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
