This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
