so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
