i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Randomize
