based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't apologize to a one balled man
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize