You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I understand Curling. That high.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize