he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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