i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
