just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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