Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
