am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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