The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
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I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
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It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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