I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
