Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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