I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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