I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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