i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
it wasn't lemon gatorade
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
