i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
