so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I just want nice things and good sex
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
