i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
