Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
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