I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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