So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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