Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
why do cheetos always look like penises
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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