its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
